Coming Back to Life

I have felt unmotivated and basically felt like crap all week long. I was thinking that it was my grief over losing my mother-in-law.  I think that was part of it but the main culprit was this damn, stupid cold.  It ended up settling into my lungs and I haven’t been able to breathe without pain for the past three days.  Apparently, I haven’t slept well either. That finally changed today. I took three glorious naps!!

I started the day off waking up at 3:30 this morning with this very vivid dream that left certain feelings that I haven’t felt in days. I came very close to trying to get my husband to act on those inner feelings when I woke him up to get ready for work. Once I said something, I immediately started coughing so I left those feelings asleep for a little longer.

While I’ve been forced to let myself rest and get over this cold, I’ve been binge watching Outlander. I had episodes all the way back to 2016 still on the DVR that I haven’t had time to sit and watch. I got to thinking that maybe it was all the time I’ve been spending watching Jamie Fraser that triggered that first dream this morning. I don’t know about you but older Jamie in the reading glasses gets my heart and other things to a fluttering.

And how about that look that John Grey gave him when they met up again in Jamaica. That’s the look that we all long to have looking back at us. I won’t even bother saying what that scene did to me. No, I don’t have a thing for watching two men together in that way. That was just a well executed scene that showed so much pure emotion. It was just awesome beyond words. After watching the series, I might have to finally take time to read the books. I have a feeling this shade of Grey would be better than any of the other shades!

Anyway, I laid back down and let myself nap, since I can almost breathe, after watching that episode. Once again I woke from a dream about my husband doing gloriously wicked things to me. Twice in one day I’m waking up to him taking over my sleeping thoughts. I’m thinking my brain is trying to tell me something. So I watched more Outlander. Then took another nap. Woke up to the exact same dream again. Repeated the process and finished off Outlander.

I didn’t think I could possibly still be tired but ended up falling asleep for another couple of hours. I woke this time to an extremely vivid sex dream about my husband. Yes, I came out and said it. I’ve been having sex dreams about my husband all day today. Each one has gained intensity. This last one left me wishing he was already home. He should be on his way home right now. So I’m off to actually cook supper and allow him time to chill after the drive home. Then I’m going off to take a hot bath and let him know why.

After the past few weeks, I think my brain is telling me that it is time for a little sexual healing. The best way to move forward and allow yourself to have a break from reality is to give in to those primal urges. We are going to be celebrating our 25th anniversary this year. I am so grateful to have a husband that still drives me wild to the point that I’m having sex dreams about him over and over. He is my Jamie. The one that I would want from any time or place. Time to give in to a little love.

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