Midlife Crisis or Awakening?

Midlife. It seems like an evil word. If someone is of a certain age and does something out of character, people chalk it up to a midlife crisis. If you think about it, what an awesome excuse to use to finally break out of your old way of doing things to see if something else fits you better! Just think of the possibilities that lay before you all at the label of a midlife crisis. Personally, I don’t consider it a crisis. I consider it an awakening.

To say that the last few years have been stressful is an understatement. I am currently 46 years old but I kept hearing that I was awfully young to be dealing with all that have with aging parents. Part of that is the fact that I am the youngest out of five daughters. My mother was 35 when she had me. The other fact is that my husband is 9 years older than me with his older brother 7 years older than him. So I guess I might seem a bit young to be dealing with parents over the age of 80. It’s just the way the cookie ended up crumbling.

I have spent the majority of the past several years concerned primarily with taking care of our four parents. Now that my parents are in a nursing home and my in-laws have passed away I find myself stuck in transition. I’m on the mailing list for the author, Cheryl Richardson. She said something in it that hit home. She said that between phases of your life you find yourself in limbo. It’s also okay to linger in limbo for a little bit. Sometimes you need that time to figure out where the next phase is going to take you. There is one small problem with lingering in limbo. It doesn’t pay well.

At least I’m finally starting to feel better again. I’ve had a few false starts to feeling better. I first started feeling bad on January 5. It’s now Valentine’s Day and my lungs continue to give me their gift of pain and fatigue. I sometimes think that they are never going to heal this time. It makes it hard to even want to apply for jobs when the smallest of things leaves you feeling winded.

Anyway, I have decided that I am going to label myself as going through a midlife crisis. I think it will give me a little wiggle room and people will leave me alone to figure things out. I’m starting to see the brilliance in the move. I don’t mind labels when it helps me out.

Happy Valentine’s Day! I hope that everyone is enjoying their day whether it is with someone or celebrating alone. Remember that the love that counts the most is the love you give to yourself.

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